who's gonna drive you home tonight?
Who’s gonna tell you when
It’s too late
Who’s gonna tell you things
Aren’t so great.
You can’t go on, thinkin’
Nothing’s wrong, but bye
Who’s gonna drive you home
Tonight?
I’ve recently been considering these specific lyrics from “Drive” as this song used to be completely reminiscent of [REDACTED]. And suddenly, the emotion has shifted as I’ve begun listening to it again and feel a new feeling.
I still remember him sending me his created edits of the loops that he was so obsessed with. I don’t remember why exactly “Drive” was his favorite song, for I don’t feel like he ever mentioned any other songs by The Cars; but nonetheless, this factoid stuck with me long after we stopped speaking and this lasting effect caused me to remove this particular song from every playlist and switch the radio off if its melody happened to hit my ears. It was like this poison that I’d try to avoid and I don’t really understand why it struck such a nerve if I’m being honest.
It just was that after everything with him and I went downhill, I felt like I couldn’t face the lyrics anymore. Yes, that’s it. The lyrics were what mattered so much. Because, well, who’s gonna pay attention to my dreams and who’s gonna plug my ears when I scream? So, I’d turn it off again and again because it all did hurt, I guess.
And even throughout my entire relationship with my ex-longterm partner, I still couldn’t play it. It felt silly that it still bothered me in that way but maybe there was some fulfillment I wasn’t receiving(?) or maybe it just was all something I hadn’t worked through. I still don’t know.
But suddenly, after everything ended with you. I began to want to hear it again. I think I heard it accidentally one day and went to turn it off but then thought differently. No, why don’t I let it play. I haven’t let it play in years. So I did, and I realized, oh I’m moved on. And so instead of reminding me of that time so long ago, it morphed into something different and took on a new meaning. And the beginning lyrics suddenly meant so much.
Because it feels like maybe how you felt(?). How you thought, when it was all ending or reaching that point. Because who was gonna tell me it wasn’t okay, and it was ending. It was slipping through my fingers yet I looked away in denial, refusing to see my almost empty hands. Because sometimes denial is more fun or feels more gratifying momentarily than reality, but reality is also just so scary. It’s a terrifying truth to face. Well, sometimes, I guess, not always, thankfully!
Anyway, so now it feels like this satisfying truth to listen to “Drive.” And who is gonna drive me home? I guess it’s about maybe picking yourself up, driving yourself.