Day 2
Well, on the topic of the book I'm reading again. In "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck," he discusses traveling to Russia and finding the culture so refreshing because everyone was honest and there was a lack of superficialness.
I think it's a really interesting and sobering thought / reminder to know that everyone doesn't like you and really doesn't need to. Once this mindset can be achieved, I think people are probably able to let themselves go and feel more free. But I say "probably" because I really haven't learned how to do this so I don't really know about how it must feel.
Regarding that, I don't think I have much else to say on that topic other than it would be nice to feel less pressure to people-please.
I think people-pleasing isn't kindness towards others, it's just fear of being perceived. In fact, I have read claims that it is even a form of manipulation because you aren't revealing an opinion or side of yourself that may not agree with something, and instead you're choosing to go along to have a sense of "peace." In reality, however, this "peace" will most likely evolve into some form of resentment.
When people-pleasing eventually takes hold of your personality, it's easy to feel like over time you begin to lose a sense of your identity and may even feel guilt for having a certain opinion, like wanting to take time for yourself instead of seeing someone.
I think that honestly majority of people are caught up in this constant cycle of not truly making their own decision based off of what they would want to do and instead thinking primarily of others. But simultaneously, a balance needs to be found where you aren't constantly making a decision for yourself that only benefits you. However, this is also where values come about and maybe it becomes time to reevaluate who you truly are. Because if your values are always regarding yourself as most important and you never want to sacrifice for others (without people-pleasing, because with people-pleasing you're doing something you would really rather not to not be perceived "negatively"), that's not good.
It all gets very complicated and feels like a constant circle of thought.
Anyway, I haven't tried that style of painting that I was talking about yet and I'm struggling to keep up motivation. It feels like there's always stress about something; relationships, work, money, happiness. It feels like no matter where life is, there's always some way to find a way to stress about it.
This is definitely something that comes down to problem-solving skills / stress.
I don't like this post but I'm making it anyway because it's the effort that matters!
But, wait! I just arrived at Panera with J and attempted to publish this very post but was met with a sinister "wifi disconnected" error page. Sadness engulfed my being. But, then! J, ever so smart J, refreshed the page and all wasn't lost. My precious post, back in my hands. So, in fact, I DO like this post!