just a frustrated gal
I’m just feeling a bit exhausted. Not necessarily in the I need to take a nap type of way (although, I probably do aha), but more in the I’m tired of constantly having something to worry about type of way.
I got a pap smear today, a pelvic exam, and some blood work, and I have an ultrasound scheduled. I’m tired of living in my body sometimes. I’m constantly on guard. It just feels so challenging for my nervous system to regulate because my brain is always going 100 mph. I wish, just for a little while, that it would stop.
And then, as if my body isn’t enough to already keep me occupied, I got a letter from insurance yesterday that my (horror) dentist appointment won’t be covered regardless of the fact that I didn’t request almost 20 x-rays OR fluoride being smeared all over my teeth without even a warning. I’m extremely stressed about it.
Boo.
And then there’s things that aren’t even happening to me.
My sibling lost their job over what appears to be prejudiced ideals, and because they don’t have the financial ability to hire a lawyer and fight the university, there’s not much that can be done. There’s just something especially frustrating about watching someone close to you experience something unfair and realizing you really can’t do anything either.
And then, my friend was assaulted last weekend. So, now she’s faced with the decision of what to do next, simultaneously however being scared that speaking up will mean having her reputation dragged through the mud. So, the possibility that he could face absolutely zero consequences is a horrifying reality, but a reality nonetheless.
I’m just a frustrated gal in this silly world. I don’t know at this point.
I think there’s just always so much happening at once that I’m always bracing for the next thing, so even when life is calm, it just feels like an illusion. And I know a lot of people can understand this feeling because, quite frankly, life is just not the best sometimes!
So, to any comrade feeling similar, know you’re not alone in your feeling!! We’re all feeling it.