Day 22 - Freedom
I've not had social media for almost an entire month now and don't miss it. Well... not completely.
Social media, I've realized, is entirely embedded into our beings--or at least mine--due to our consumption of it while growing up. I first became an avid social media user when I got to bring a Chromebook home from school in 6th grade. After that point, my life begin revolving around socializing online, Pinterest, and YouTube. And not only did this consume my life hereinafter, but it became so a part of myself that I couldn't imagine my life any differently.
Now, this may sound dramatic to some, but my life felt like it truly "began" once I gained access to the internet and socializing online. Before this point, I would only talk to my friends once I entered the school grounds and very occasionally at the once a year hang out. Once summer began, I was used to not speaking to a single schoolmate until the next school year rolled around. That was normal for me, although I'm sure not everyone else. Therefore, when I had this unlimited social time before, during, and after school, it changed the way I viewed my time. It was now spent waiting around for one of my friends to chat with me and while I waited, I would do the next best thing, go on social media.
This was my life for a couple years and then I got a phone, and so on and so forth. I've gone almost an entire decade with internet, social media, brainless scrolling, so of course, it's like changing my life course to cold-turkey quit every social media app ever.
However, I began this blog by instating that I don't miss it and this is also entirely true. As far as my brain would like to pretend that it was the compilation that drove my life forward, that is entirely false. In fact, I've realized how much it deterred me from living. I would be online and sure, find some inspiration in other's creativity, but majority of the time I would compare my own skill to theirs and ultimately become a less secure person that did not believe in herself.
I now can understand that my life actually stopped when I gained access to all these things. I became dependent on my online persona and how others might perceive me in that way. And instead of my individuality and who I was influencing my online presence, my online presence soon began to influence who I "truly" was. Really, wasn't.
I don't struggle nearly with as much creative burnout as I used to and I am able to think with a clearer mind, which allows to get more good things done each and every day. It also just eliminates the grief that comes with getting sucked on an app and scrolling, which creates more pride for the fact that I've been productive.
Although, there are more benefits than possible to list, I still have urges now and then to scroll on TikTok or type in "Ins..." in the search web. I don't know if it's an urge that will ever be fully eliminated but due to the outrageous positivity that it brings to my life, I think I'll be able to make good decisions regarding it going forward.
I'm taking my first trip without social media today. I'm looking forward to seeing how this new perspective and life shift will alter my vacation. What might I be more present for that will turn out to be substantial and long lasting?