Day 17 - Valentine's Day Struggles and Things Aren't Always Perfect
I think I'd like to begin writing more notable titles for my blog posts because I've been considering this for a while but have OCD tendencies to not want things to change once they've began; however, I did write an entire blog post about intentionality so here we go.
Valentine's Day has come and gone, as each holiday does every year. The older I get, the more I feel like Charlie Brown and Linus at the end of each Peanut's special once the holiday is over-with and Charlie Brown realizes it didn't go anywhere to plan. It's just so easy to put too much pressure on holidays or events and essentially ruin them due to that.
I genuinely had a good Valentine's with my love but it did not go to plan in any way, for the most part.
Our morning is not to be discussed, then I unfortunately had to go to work (which actually ended up being okay in the grand scheme of things), and then instead of going to watch the sunset at Lost Grove, we decided to stay home to decompress before dinner. This ended up being an amazing decision because we had real time to sit down (lay down) and enjoy each other's company.
We did experience the beautiful sunset along the river while on our way to dinner. We had gotten a reservation at a riverside grill and we thought we would get some most likely mediocre fish and chips, but the night had different plans. We got there and immediately realized the atmosphere was less than enjoyable to attempt to have a conversation or a peaceful meal together. The restaurant was very small and there just so happened to be a live performer in the corner of the restaurant singing to her heart's content. Our waiter then informed us that the kitchen was only cooking one meal for the evening (this would have been good information to receive while booking the reservation), which was an out-of-budget steak dinner. Not fish.
So, what did we do you ask. We pivoted! We decided to ditch the restaurant and head to Chick-Fil-A, because who can go wrong with a 30-piece chicken nugget meal? Our wonderful and deeply generous order-taker even included 16 sauces in our bag. We ate in our calm, quiet car while being able to hear each other's conversation.
One thing that did go in accordance with our plan was bowling! We headed to the bowling alley after our divine dine and knocked out a couple games (neither of which I won), thoroughly enjoyed. Then, after our activity for the evening, we headed home.
Now this is where the real pressure began, gift opening time. Due to the circumstances of the day, this time felt allotted to be the most connecting and intentional; therefore, the most pressure was here. We began by me giving J his homemade card I'd made him and a couple gifts. He enjoyed it all and it was amazing. But then, my erratic feelings came into play. I began opening J's gifts and was overcome with negative feelings. I didn't like both gifts he gave me and was upset because one of them particularly I had given him specific instructions about, but he didn't seem to heed them very well. (Now of course, I can understand that nothing was intentional and he still had put a vast amount of effort in)
Finally, there was the last gift that still needed to be opened. Now this gift J had been working tirelessly on into dim hours of the morning, so the pressure was amounted to the ceiling, I fear. I could only stare at the brown-wrapped package in fear that I wouldn't like this either. Truly, however, I knew I would like it (whatever it was) and just wanted to regulate my emotions to be able to enjoy the next special moment.
I finally unwrapped the packaging and unveiled a DVD with a special note written on the cover. I slid the DVD into the player and was in disbelief to see that J had put together a wonderful compilation of not only Lana's entire Hinterland performance, but even a couple special features. We ended the night next to each other while watching one of the most special moments either of us had ever experienced.
I woke up the day after Valentine's Day with SO much joy, more than I'd had the day before, that's for sure. I realized that I really had enjoyed the day, but due to the staggering amount of pressure appointed to the holiday, I had crept around every corner expecting to find a monster and had too many nerves running through me to realize the delights of the day. Unfortunately, this did impact our day and for that, I am sad; however, I did not wake up the following day with so much joy for no reason in particular. It was, indeed, a good day and I'm happy to realize that I did enjoy my 2026 Valentine's Day. And now I need to realize that everything does not always need to be perfect. In fact, you may make things less enjoyable by following a perfection mindset.